Culture Social Media — 29 December 2011
Social Media Resolutions for 2012

In the market for a New Year’s Resolution?  Well, I’m about to fill up your re-usable totes with an arsenal of options.

Start with your online behavior.

Here are seven social media sins I pray do not follow us into 2012.  If you’re offended, I don’t know what to tell ya.  Oh yeah.  After the hurt subsides, stop it.  ‘Kay?

1.  Stop taking photos of yourself.  Here’s the harsh truth.  You look like your head is ten times too big.  There is no cute way to self-photo.  Photos of you vamping into your own smartphone lens should only be taken if you have been abducted by Buffalo Bill and want to be sure someone can identify your remains.

2.  Don’t put your ugly food on display.  We’ve all felt that foodie photo sensation in our bones, but 9 times out of 10, what you’re eating only looks good to you– in 3D.

3.  Quit sniping at ex-boyfriends/friends/girlfriends/spouses in subliminal messages.  If it’s that secret, should it really go to your 300-plus friends and Timeline? (Answer: No.)

4.  Avoid believing your own hype.  That “like” doesn’t mean you should indeed wear that alligator coat, shoes and matching lip gloss to the party.  Nor should you don those blue jeans with white buffalo fur going up the sides.  Even the most ghoulish looking entities can get a “like” or a Re-Tweet every once and again.  Don’t let your social media friends have you out here deluded.

5.  Steer clear of social media envy.  If you are only online to make sure none of your high school and college friends are thinner, richer, more successful, happier than you, log off and find some business.  Stat.

6.  Put a cap in that Whine.  When you grumble about something to a friend, it’s forgotten.  When you put it in writing, you are a joke forever.  (I see you Xmas Tweet crybabies.)

7.  Stop tagging like you’re at recess.  This applies to Facebook fam.  You all know what I mean if you read this blog.

 

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