Culture — 27 December 2011
Toast: Five Ways to Make Sure Your New Year’s Eve Doesn’t Blow

I know what you’re thinking.

New Year’s Eve is going to be a bust.

Well, okay, I’m no NYE Nostradamus.  I kinda saw your Facebook statuses and Tweets.

But just because I’m not privy to your inner-most pondering doesn’t mean I can’t add value to this discussion.  In fact, I think I’ve stumbled upon a way — five ways, in fact — to make sure you have a great time no matter what and no matter where you are.  This is for all ages, life stages and designations.  Check it out, let me know what you think and pass it on.

1.  Do your due diligence. Don’t just pick a “type” of party to go to and fail to research the scene.  Yes, going to a house party sounds cozy and hitting a club party sounds exciting, but you must know the nature of each beast.  If the house party is a bunch of people you barely mesh with or are a bunch of marrieds when you’re a singleton, you won’t be happy even if your price of admission was just a 12-pack.  Likewise, if you get all glammed up and hit some club party with music, people and themes you don’t enjoy, “exciting” is the last word you’ll use to describe your adventure.  Take a few moments and read the pluggers, evites and texts flooding your inbox.

2.  Don’t overpay.  It would seem in these Occupied times, paying $20 to go to the same dive bar that usually costs you nada, is insane.  Same goes for spending $100 for a restaurant meal that is typically a fourth of the NYE price.  But then again, the rabid consumer behavior of Black Friday serves to remind that some 99-ers still spend like they’re in the one percent if the holiday calls for it.  I warrant that you will not be disappointed if you pay the appropriate price for the event.  My suggestion is to see what your admission price affords…Methinks an open bar, some form of appetizer and a bit of red-carpet treatment is required to go over $50.

3.  Don’t blindly go for comic relief.  Yes, I’m for counter-programming and seeing a comedy show can beat stumbling around an overcrowded club or yawning through somebody’s home-cooked shindig, but please don’t pay over $50 per person to see some no-name funnyman or woman try out their mirror act on your New Year’s Eve night.  Be discerning.  Savvy?

4.  Friend Up.  Follow the Facebook model…make sure you party with friends.  That way, if you end up in a barn, complete with cows, hogs and those white, crazy-looking owls, you will still have fun.  As a person who attended, and survived, several ratchet awful gatherings only because my sister or close friend was there, I know this to be the truth.  Bring your own crowd and you’ll feel like a VIP even if you aren’t allowed past the velvet ropes or don’t even know your house party host’s last name.

5.  Set phasers on stun.  Sorry for the Star Trek reference, but you know…I love the sci fi.  The biggest party crusher of NYE is not that drunk guy who sick-ups in an ice bucket next to you or that house party bugaboo who doesn’t get the hint you are not going to kiss him at midnight.  The villain of the night is your level of expectation.  If you recognize New Year’s as another night…one that leads to a new year filled with possibility, you’ll be alright. If you expect a party of 90s Diddy-level proportions, pack it in now.  You will not win the night.

So there it is. Five ways to make it through NYE.  If all the above fails, you’ll always have Ryan Seacrest and priority seating on your own couch.  At least that’s what they tell me on the Facebook.

Party on, Wayne!

Your turn: What are you doing for NYE?  Do you think it’s a big deal or are you over it?  Tell me why in “comments” below.





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