Music — 16 March 2012
Where is the Love? Has Radio Killed the Slowjam?

The lights are low.

Vanilla candles are glowing on the dresser.

A beautiful melody wafts into the atmosphere.

Chris Brown’s sugary sweet vocals hang in the air in “Another Round.”

“You got a mean walk.  I’m talking shoe game.  The baddest b***h of any b*tch you name.”

Then, a little later, Fat Joe intones:

“Loving how it lasts long/Leave the sheets gushy/F**k you with the mask on/Halloween p**sy.”

Yikes, okay, switch stations, there’s gotta be something better.

Rihanna and Chris Brown (again) on a “Cake” remix …what’s this?  (Not approving of the rekindled romance, but maybe they’re on their Rick James and Tina Marie ish.)

“Girl I wanna f**k you right now (right now)/Been a long time, I’ve been missing your body
/Let me-let me turn the lights down/When I go down, it’s a private party/Ooooh, it’s not even her birthday/But I wanna lick the icing off.”

Oh hell no.

Chastened, I hit Spotify and find this number from Yelawolf.

“F*ck it, I roleplay, do it to you in a Jason mask
You switch walkers like a switch blade
You walk into the room and it’s like these other bitches get hit with a grenade.”

This is what passes for loving lyrics these days?  And in the Breazy/Rih Rih case, you can’t even blame it on a male artist pandering to chart pressure.  Both halves of the ill-fated couple are on the track talking crazy, porno dialogue to each other.

This has to let up a little.  I’m all for roughneck romance– in doses.  After all, you’re not a real Jodeci fan if you don’t like it (your music, dirty minds) a little rough.

But c’mon.  You can’t find a real sexy song on the radio anymore, not unless you go deep into the late-night soft-note stations looking for it with a high beam flashlight.  What passes for sweet serenades is always interrupted by some kind of rapper so busy trying to keep his street cred that his lovemaking sounds like an act that should be investigated by Law & Order: SVU.  (And yes, even J Cole is guilty for that “Can’t Get Enough” mess.)

If it’s not that outright (and, as expected) crass, it’s a rash of artists including Lloyd, Trey Songz or Rihanna trying to out-nasty each other using double entendres that are about as subtle as Lil Wayne’s fashion sense.

It couldn’t just be me. Has the radio gotten a little beyond itself?

While you think about that, I’m headed back to Spotify to cook up an old-to-new school playlist involving the O’Jays, Chaka Khan, Jil Scott, Estelle,  and Ja’heim. I’ll top it off with Cee Lo and Melanie Fiona’s duet, “Fool for You.”

“Cake”the the remix, it ain’t.

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