I know it must be tempting, particularly if the father of your child is not in the kid’s life or hasn’t been financially supportive, but in the name of the holiday coming up on Sunday, June 17, I’m going to ask you to hold your fire.
Don’t give me that look. Just hear me out. I promise, I’m on your side– to a degree.
Father’s Day is simply not the occasion to make your ire against deadbeats known. Shame on Hallmark’s Mahogany line for trying to capitalize on this sentiment, plus doing some culturally idiotic marketing as well. (h/t to bossip.com)
Conversely, it’s the day we’ve selected to celebrate the top pops all over the world. So, I’m not too sure when it became en vogue to treat it as some kind of Festivus, with the airing of the grievances taking place over social media and the like. But it needs to stop.
(Yes, I’m talking to you putting up the status calling the father of your child a “sperm donor” at precisely midnight on June 17.)
I’m not asking you to do it for the FAIL of a father figure in your life, I’ll ask you to do it for me, someone who loves and cherishes the memories of a great father. (Here’s a pic of me, my sister, Kozi, and W. Louis Kyles below.)
And of course, I’m not not the only one with a dad worth standing up for. I look, with happiness, at my friends and online family who are enjoying their dear old dads. I have equal excitement for my friends who have just become dads themselves and post cute pictures of them falling asleep with their adorable tots on their chests.
What good does it do to sully Father’s Day for them?
First of all, I know it comes from a place of genuine (and justified) hurt, but absentee dad bashing does nothing to shame the person who is guilty of being a bad dad. If, in fact, that person were that easily embarrassed, he would do a better job. All it does is discourage current and future fathers of the world, to know that no matter what, their special day is marred by the memories of those who don’t even want the title.
Just as Christmas isn’t a day for the devil worshippers of the world to make their ire known and Mother’s Day isn’t reserved for bashing women molded after Precious’ momma or Joan Crawford, Father’s day too should be safe from scorn and sarcasm.
I certainly hope you have reason to celebrate because everyone deserves to have a great dad.
And if you didn’t, just call up or send an e-card to someone who is doing a good job and offer them some encouragement. I guarantee you’ll feel better about yourself, and the proud poppas will feel better about their day. And isn’t that really what this holiday is supposed to be about?
Your turn: Have Father’s Day digs gone too far? Does the holiday get less respect than its maternal counterpart? Please do weigh in, and feel free to send a shout to a great paternal unit.
In the meantime, I’d like to send a spiritual shout-out to W. Louis Kyles. My sister and I love and miss our dear departed, but never duplicated, dad.
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