There are some shows I watch that I am downright embarrassed of…
The occasional lapse into “Cheaters” reruns. (Hey, have you ever seen the one where the guy gets caught taking his other “girlfriend” to church and gets hemmed up in the bathroom stall? Then you haven’t lived, my friend.)
But I never expected to hang my head over “True Blood.” Of course, it’s no “Game of Thrones,” filled with weighty dialogue and nuanced acting. Still, it wasn’t utter nonsense.
Well, at least not until last night.
I know what some of you are thinking. Kyra, if you’re such a busy woman as it seems from your Facebook timeline, why are you sitting there watching a show you seem to be increasingly sickened by? Why don’t you go write the Great American novel, open a bed-and-breakfast, or at least re-start the track-off?
Those are good questions, my friends. And don’t think I am not seriously considering them all, particularly after this hot, steamy Bon Temps mess. Here are my random thoughts on what happened in the episode that seemed to pit “supers” against normal folk, and spoilers ahead so come back later if you didn’t see the show.
Your turn next…
(1) La La Land
What did Lafayette do to the writers? Are they ticked at him that he wasn’t enthusiastic about the Jesus love interest? Because they have turned him into a pointless, mask-wearing do-nothing with less of a place on the show than the werepanthers…and anyone who watched last season should know what I mean by that. Putting that Mr. Potato Head Jesus face in the mix didn’t help matters. And I’m so mad at Alfre Woodard wasting her time as Driving Miss Crazy on that show.
(2) Smoke Screen
The Terry Bellefleur plot FAIL continued with the revelation of the beast that had chased them all the way from Iraq. Behold, it was the cousin of the equally embarrassing smoke monster from the “Lost” set. I’m glad HBO and ABC have established a trade agreement to resurrect that sad gray talcum powder and put it to use. Now that it’s been properly recycled, I beg all involved to put that embarrassing monster away forever. Please.
(3) Shift + Delete
Umm…did those hooligans really kill Luna, practically in front of her daughter?Word to the writers: please don’t kill the likeable characters when there are so many pointless goofballs on the set. Not to name any names but **muffled voice** Tara, Sookie, Andy Bellefleur, Terry Bellefleur, Arlene. I hate to add this, but Lafayette is also in the running.
(4) Glitch in the Matrix
Are the writers forgetting they’ve covered the ground of Jason hating vampires? We went through that with the whole Fellowship of the Sun scenario, and I thought we were better than that. I get that Jason would be mad his fairy parents were allegedly drained by vampires, but no mas of vendetta Jason. He’s more boring than werepanther-loving Jason. Yes, I mentioned the werepanthers again. Sorry about that.
5) Tara and Jessica BFF aka Best Friends For a Minute
I was hoping that the cute bonding session between newborn baby vamp and Jessica could last. But of course that self-destructive Tara had to go and mess with that newly lame David Bowie-looking Hoyt. Of all the fang bangers in all the bathrooms in Bon Temps, why couldn’t Tara have picked someone else? Ah well….I did enjoy that John Woo-esque scene between them. It made up for a bit of the monotony.
Now that the hammy kid is gone, I am faced with the stark notion that Chris Meloni (aka Elliott from Law & Order SVU) is terrible in this role. He vacillates between shouting like his old cop character during an interrogation to whispering and hissing like a snake. I’ve actually had to turn the TV up (and down) to understand his lines. If only Dennis O’Hare (Russell Edgington) would finish his rise and bonus his mayhem with some acting lessons for members of the Authority. Clearly, mainstreaming also includes scene-chewing. And P.S., I think Miss Salome is the one with the Batman-looking pendant who unleashed Russell. Nora would be too obvious, even for this sad sack season.
In short: I’m wondering if I can keep watching. The season is less potent than a pint of True Blood. What happened to the show that had fangs?
Your turn: Thoughts on last Sunday’s episode? I know some of you are still with it for the long haul, but I am mulling bailing after this season, at least.
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