I don’t mind telling you. I’m feeling a little better about “True Blood.”
But this week, it felt like the writers listened…at least a little. And I deeply appreciate them for unleashing both Russell Edgington and Alcide’s abs in the same episode. In the latter case, I didn’t quite get enough of him/them in “Magic Mike.” Sorry, no more idle ogling. Let’s get down to business. Here are the aspects of the episode that jumped out at me…
1. Luna Eclipse
I am so glad they spared Luna. This Bon Temps doppelganger of Nicole Scherzinger is the coolest chick on the show, next to Jessica. When she was laid out on the lawn last week, I practically clawed my couch in despair. Why her? Why not the new emo-boy version of Hoyt, that irritating Terry Bellefleur or that scene-gnawing Roman (more about that later)… Bottom line: Good save, TB writer’s room. I just might forgive you for this hot mess to follow.
2. For Whom the Belle Tolls
I didn’t think I could hate this character any more, but then they allowed him to run. With his wild, ridonkulous gait as he fled a moving car, I knew for a fact he wouldn’t have made it into anyone’s military. And why he was so distraught about being chased by gray talcum powder, I don’t know. Maybe he had a traumatic experience with a bottle of Gold Bond as a youth. At any rate, he and his equally annoying former sergeant need to beat it. Why he and that grating Arlene get so much screen time is a bigger mystery than who killed Sookie’s parents. The upside of all this attention is that it seems like Terry is leaving town to spare the lives of his family. I’m willing to help him pack.
3. Liking the Viking
Surprisingly, I haven’t been into Eric, my former fave on the show. His role in the crime-fighting, jumpsuit-encouraging Authority sting kind of irked me as did his improbable mooning over Sookie. But seeing him return to full form, glamoring Alcide into being repulsed by Sookie (like that should even be necessary) and facing off against Roman’s religious zealotry had me cheering in the “True Blood” bleachers. Eric is like Will Ferrell’s Gator in “The Other Guys,” he don’t take no ish and he ain’t never been about that.
4. Kibwe, Call Me Maybe
I’m in love with Kibwe, of the Authority aka Peter Mensah aka Dude Who Got Kicked Down the Pit in “300.” (That is why this image below, credited to True Blood Wikia, is so damn big.) This fine actor is the one who should have been cast as Roman. Menacing. Handsome. Deceptive. How awesome was it when he dispatched those witless humans after that phony baloney interrogation? What, you feel sorry for them? Oh well, they would have ended up a snack for the King of Mississippi anyway. At least they died on a plush Megabus seat instead of hanging from the ceiling in a potato sack.
5. Roman Candle
Yes, I cheered when Christopher Meloni’s character, Roman, met the true death. He was horrible, so breathtakingly horrible as the head of the Vampire Authority. As my sister, Kozi, pointed out, he even threw the impeccable Russell Edgington off with his over-emoting. (Watch it again and check Russell’s confused face when Roman is roaring at him in indecipherable anger.) When this brute got thrown on the table and staked into the ether, it renewed a fraction of my faith in the show.
6. Odds and Ends
And now for a few “what the hell’s” that don’t really fit into any other category. What was up with the one Fairy in that poor man’s Cirque du Soleil who had on aqua granny panties? Where did Sam get all these super smelling and sensing powers all of a sudden? And why was he all of a sudden all John Blaze on that hick that was running the anti-supes Sam’s Club. What the heck is Hoyt dressed like Pete Wentz for and when did he get so suicidal? And last, what did Alfre Woodard do to Hollywood that she is first in line for these nutburger roles (let us not forget her horrible role on “Desperate Housewives”) And if Alfre’s character is so filled with knowledge and omnipotence, why can’t she pronounce (Hay-soos)? And how did Tara manage to beat the brakes off Jessica when she’s a newer vampire? Did the MMA training Tara had as a human nullify that undead advantage?
**Exhales** Okay, it’s your turn. What did you think of “Hopeless.”
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